Since mental health related issues are rampant among the LGBTQ community members that is why recently I have created a group on Facebook to provide free counseling sessions to the members of that community.
So far I have experienced who ever asking for counseling most of them are closeted individuals who are not prepared to come out yet and put their lives in jeopardy. Though I am not surprised to notice that, but I am facing extreme difficulties when they are asking me to become their matchmaker. Initially I was annoyed, because that was not my objective.
Meanwhile I couldn't deny the need of a spouse for almost every individuals and at the same time if loneliness is the reason of depression then any amount of counselling would not be able to bring some changes. Initially I advised them to join the various events organized by prominent NGOs who are working for the LGBTQ cause, my idea was it's the best place to interact with someone from the community and getting hitched.
However here problem is since those people are closeted members of the community, therefore visiting any widely publicized public event can harm their personal and professional lives and that same phobia restrain them from visiting such events. Afterall everybody don't accumulate necessary courage to fight against a social menace at the same time and throughout the history it always remain a gradual process. Similarly, the entire LGBTQ community members would not surface one fine morning. It will take many more generations and by the meantime they should get the relevant support from the society. They have every right to be around like-minded people.
Here most relevant question raised by someone was - "How to ensure the confidentiality of closeted members of the LGBTQ community and what if someone sneaks into the group and start blackmailing other group members"? After careful consideration of every possible aspects I could not deny the need of an authentic dating site dedicated exclusively to the community members and I came up with the following code of conducts or golden rules for that particular dating site which will be dealing with closeted community members in a public platform: -
So far I have experienced who ever asking for counseling most of them are closeted individuals who are not prepared to come out yet and put their lives in jeopardy. Though I am not surprised to notice that, but I am facing extreme difficulties when they are asking me to become their matchmaker. Initially I was annoyed, because that was not my objective.
Meanwhile I couldn't deny the need of a spouse for almost every individuals and at the same time if loneliness is the reason of depression then any amount of counselling would not be able to bring some changes. Initially I advised them to join the various events organized by prominent NGOs who are working for the LGBTQ cause, my idea was it's the best place to interact with someone from the community and getting hitched.
However here problem is since those people are closeted members of the community, therefore visiting any widely publicized public event can harm their personal and professional lives and that same phobia restrain them from visiting such events. Afterall everybody don't accumulate necessary courage to fight against a social menace at the same time and throughout the history it always remain a gradual process. Similarly, the entire LGBTQ community members would not surface one fine morning. It will take many more generations and by the meantime they should get the relevant support from the society. They have every right to be around like-minded people.
Here most relevant question raised by someone was - "How to ensure the confidentiality of closeted members of the LGBTQ community and what if someone sneaks into the group and start blackmailing other group members"? After careful consideration of every possible aspects I could not deny the need of an authentic dating site dedicated exclusively to the community members and I came up with the following code of conducts or golden rules for that particular dating site which will be dealing with closeted community members in a public platform: -
1. Members Should Have Freedom To Not Show Their Original Profile Pictures And Names: - When creating profile for the dating sites or any other social networking sites then group members should be encouraged to choose a profile picture among stock photos which would match their personalities. That advice should be specially for closeted members of community. They can use that Avatar on all social networking sites as well to attract more attention towards their profiles.
2. Profile Authentication Would Be A Double Peer-Blind Method: - Before approving any new joining request there should be a double peer blind method of profile authentication in order to get rid of the junk profiles; where two individuals would take the interview of each applicant member at random time and every profile would be uploaded on the basis of the successful completion of the review process. This process can rule out the possibilities of unnecessary attention.
3. Key Personal Information of Members Would Not Be Disclosed To Each Other Instantly: - Group members should be encouraged to not disclose key and sensitive personal information to a stranger instantly online. It should be a slow process of knowing each other first. Sharing personal photos at compromising positions is a strict "no...no". In fact that should not be done at any stage of the relationship. Because, these can behave like boomerang if relationship falls apart.
4. Indoor Meetups Venues And Outdoor Activities To Form A Strong Sense of Community: - Since we are inherently social animals therefore a sense of community is another basic need of these community members. A community where they don't have to pretend something which is juxtapose of their original character. Organizing regular various indoor sessions and outdoor activities could be great ways for socializing and arranging such events regularly can become a great stress busters for these individuals.
5. Information Regarding Social Activities Only Should Be Mailed To The Concerned Person: - Only the concerned person should get the details of event via mails. Group members should not be allowed to bring any unregistered person as companion with them since it can cause discomfort to other group members.
6. There Wouldn't Be Any Events Which Would Display Any Kind of Indicative LGBTQ Banners or Other Materials: - Unlike other organization that indoor - outdoor activities would not display any kind of indicative banners or promotional materials which can grab the unwanted curiosity towards the event.
7. Sexual Orientation Is Not Written On Anyone's Face: - At the end of the day, truth is sexual orientation is not written on anyone's forehead. Therefore, after all these precautions it would be extremely difficult for someone to exploit any LGBTQ group and blackmail the group members.
Above all we should have faith on individual's own common sense and we hope group members would not ignore their own intuition about a person. Despite all possible challenges a genuine dating website for LGBTQ community members is absolutely inevitable.
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