7 Signs You Are In A 'Meaningful Romance' And Not In A 'Meaningful Relationship'

Most of us generally use these two magic words ‘romantic relationships’ when in reality ‘romance’ and ‘relationship’ often two different phenomena. Now imagine, like an expert Sushi chef if you take a tiniest slice out of a huge chunk of ‘romantic relationships’ then you would get that exact quantity of ‘romance’. Now question is what’s the difference between ‘meaningful romance’ and ‘meaningful relationship’? Well, you can share that tiny pieces of romance with many (however eventually the entire chunk would finished in that process, at least logic says so). On the contrary, if you plan to maintain a ‘meaningful relationship’ then you should share that entire chunk with one person only. I know that entire introduction process was quite confusing, hope rest of the blog would be able to clear that confusion.

Before I start this blog I would like to mention that its my personal opinion on the basis of my observation and that’s not a thesis. Any person can go through all these experiences irrespective of their age, race, sex, gender, sexuality, ethnicity etc. I am writing that blog on the basis of my personal experience, experiences I have accumulated from real living – breathing human being in the course of my social studies (once again, that’s not a thesis). I would not claim I have seen all these people with my own eyes, but I have heard their voices with my own ears.   Now, anyone can have their own opinion and they can feel “a person can have multiple meaningful romantic relationships with multiple partners”, now that does not make me a ‘Romance Phobic’ (at least I guess so). Because, this blog is about those confused people who lives with the dilemma and that is – ‘is that a relationship or not’? Therefore, let’s check all these following points: –

1. Both of You Are Not on Same Page of Life: I am not talking about ‘pace’, here I am talking about ‘page’. Professionally you both can be in two opposite poles; one can be more successful than other; but, what about personal life? To be more precise, say one partner running from pillar to post all alone to arrange money and other necessary resources in order to fix a personal crisis (e.g Health); by the meantime other partner is enjoying her life with her other partner (family) and friends. Although she is sending romantic texts frequently (probably out of guilt or just as a formality), but would you call it a ‘meaningful relationship’? You should not, because it is definitely a ‘meaningful romance’, since ‘meaningful relation’ means ‘in sickness and health’.

2. You Are Only Remembered Seasonally: Yes, it’s another vital red flag. Never ignore the scenario when your partner only remembers you seasonally. It could be birthdays’ season, Valentine’s days season, anniversary season (e.g. anniversary of first meeting, anniversary of first hugging, anniversary of first kissing, anniversary of first love making etc), where both of you would see each other, exchange gifts, would shower lots of affection and attention for time being and once the season is over you are all alone in your own world and she is busy in her world. Well, if you are experiencing something like that then you are in a ‘meaningful romance’, since ‘meaningful relationship’ is not a celebration of seasonal festivities.

3. You Don’t Get First Priority: I can remember about one man who went to Sikkim to see mesmerizing orchid blooming while his wife was giving birth to their only child. Now, that man had two choices but he chose according to his priority. I know, that was slight cruel example. however, think practically. As a human being we have very limited ability, we just can’t be at two places at the same time. Therefore, you should observe –  Whether do you get first priority in her life or her other partner gets that? Does she manage time to spend with you on some ‘not so special occasions’ or she thinks and calculate million times about her schedule with her other partner before giving time to you? Does she place your wishes at the top of her priority list or she makes excuses due to her other partner? Basically, it’s very important to know that how much you mean to your partner? If you get priority only according to her convenience then you are definitely in a ‘meaningful romance’, since ‘meaningful relationship’ is never about own convenience.

4. You Are Not Fulfilling the Basic Conditions: Yes! When your love is not unconditional then its romance. Most common condition that I have heard here that condition is -“I love traveling and I am looking for someone who would travel with me”. It may sound weird but its true. However, my question is – “Would you choose your partner on the basis of ‘common hobbies’ or on the basis of ‘common values’?” Therefore if you are listening to that complain constantly that you could not fulfill her basic conditions, then you are in a ‘meaningful romance’, because right from the beginning it’s very clear that she chose you because her other partner can not afford enough time or money to fulfill her hobbies.

5. You Are Feeling Lonely: Loneliness is like an untreated wound on soul. You can only get rid off it either being successful in your dream profession or in comforting arms of your partner. Now if you are in a relationship (at least you think so) and still feeling lonely that means you are in a ‘meaningful romance’; because, ‘meaningful relationship’ fulfill that wound with their presence.

6. You Prefer to Avoid Your Partner: You are lonely, but despite that loneliness you prefer to avoid your partner; because, in your life, now her presence is nothing but empty noise. You don’t enjoy her company the way you used to be. Somehow you have realized you are nothing but an accessory for her. At that position you can assure yourself that you are in a ‘meaningful romance’ and not in a ‘meaningful relationship’.

7. You Have Stopped Fighting for Relationship: We don’t fight to break our relationship, in fact often we fight to save it. We shout because we want to be heard, we crave for attention. However, when you stop fighting and slowly start praying for a ‘natural end’ of that relationship then finally ‘Congratulations!’ you were in a ‘meaningful romance’ and not in a ‘meaningful relationship’ and finally you have reached that point where you are desperately seeking an ‘amicable evaporation’ of that entire facade. Perhaps you are taking one of the most sensible decision of your life and trust me that decision would leave a very positive impact in your life.

I don't know whether I miss something or not? I would love to hear your opinion also. You can share your opinion by email at mahua.biswas83@gmal.com or tweet me @biswas_mahua

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